Start of school for some…..

Tomorrow is the start of school for Tyler and I. Cayla starts in October and Brooke is on her two weeks off in between semesters. Logan starts High school next Tuesday.
I pray there are a ton of older people then I am in the classes I will be taking. Also hoping I catch on faster then they do.

Storm, school and a possible job???

I was hoping for a storm tonight but I am doubtful we will be getting it. It must have lost its way after it left Minnesota. Tonight sitting outside it sure felt like fall is right around the corner. Oh how that is my favorite time of the year. I can hardly wait. Next week school for the two older kids and myself start. Not sure how it will go but I am looking forward to getting the first week over with. Considering that I am not a person that likes to make decisions; I did change my program that I was going for so I am hoping that I didn’t make the wrong choice. I am also praying that Logan transitions well over to West. I am fearful that I made the wrong choice in sending him to AWH instead of ANH. We will see in a couple of weeks. You can bet I will let you know how that goes. Well other then hanging out and enjoying what is left of the summer and getting ready with all the school stuff between the 5 of us we aren’t up to much. Oh wait….there is……….Dan brought in an application today to a company out of Kaukauna. It would be going to Chicago and back daily. This is something like what he did when he was with LandAir. He just isn’t going as far. From the sounds of it the pay is decent. So say a little prayer that something works out. Funny thing though….Tuesday when Dan went to pick up the application a company that he applied for back in January called him. He had been in contact with this company in Jan and Feb but they simply were slow and were no longer hiring. Well months later they call. This was the job contracted thru the government and hauling mail freight again (if my memory serves me right). Awesome pay and other benefits. BUT….Dan’s good friend worked there also and ended up leaving because it was to slow and couldn’t afford to work there any longer due to the fact of no work. That was shortly after the holidays. Dan is a little hesitant about it because he is afraid that the same thing will happen to him. I believe he is going to wait a few days to call the gal back in hopes to hear from this other company first. Hope that something comes of it 🙂 Say a ton of prayers! Hugs to all ~T

Changes and experiences

Can you believe it is already August!?! It has been a fall like summer. Who could NOT love it!! I am in heaven! Life at the Rawlings is still pretty much the same. Back on the bottom of the mountain and trying to fight our way back up. Some things in life seem to be a struggle be it the finances and keeping from totally sinking (I guess my experience from my childhood is helping) or it being us finding our way through our days without our routine we once all had. Interesting though…I never thought of myself living with a routine. I always figured I was a “go with the flow” kinda person. I am finding this is not the case within the home life. I like routine! At least to a certain degree. Logan has registration this up coming week at Appleton West. Imagine that, the only one not to go to Appleton North. After deciding where we were going to send him I am questioning weather or not I made the right choice. I am kinda thinking I should have kept him at ANH because he knows a lot of the teachers, coaches ect… I ask myself would he feel more confident going into a school that he knows some of the teachers and coaches verses starting fresh and being known for himself and not as “Tyler’s little brother” or “Cayla and Brooke’s little brother”. He is pretty much known as “Little Rawlings” at ANH. At AWH he will be known as Logan. The other thing I worry about is how he will transition to the high school. I pray it will go okay.
Cayla has decided to change schools and change her career path. She is choosing to follow the Occupational Therapy Degree. When she is done she will possibly go on to get a degree in Special Ed and work the two together some how. Brooke goes to school year round with a week or two here and there. She is finally being challenged. She is also thinking about changing her degree to what the original program was that she was interested in which was criminal justice . Tyler has one more semester to go and he should be done if he can work the two or three classes in together and jive with each other. I also decided to not continue nursing. I actually changed this past week. I finished my English class (and passed!) and the first math class and am ½ way thru my business math. I have decided to go for Computer programming and analyst. I am hoping this is the right career path to finish with. All I know is I want to make some good money for the last 25-30 years that I have left to work and LIKE the job I am doing. I have talked to many people that have graduated from the nursing program and there is nothing out there. No one is hiring RNs and there are a lot in the program now and there are a lot that are waiting to get in. I think that is one of the main reasons I decided to change. It is very tough out there I guess no matter what you are looking for.

Tonight I went to the old Outagamie County Insane Asylum ( Old photos….http://www.postcrescent.com/apps/pbcs.dll/gallery?Site=U0&Date=20070503&Category=APCNEWS&ArtNo=705030804&Ref=PH&Params=Itemnr=1 Article…. http://www.postcrescent.com/article/99999999/APC0101/70831142/0/specials01 ) with the girls. They went last night and well it pretty much freaked them out. They heard and saw and felt all different kinds of things. I didn’t seem to hear what they were tonight (maybe because their flip flops were floppin) or saw what Cayla saw, but I did feel something. What is it you ask? To start with in certain areas I felt a cool breeze on my face. As we looked at the trees with a flashlight they were as still as could be. As I walked deeper into the cemetery and stopped by a specific tree the breeze felt stronger. As if I was riding on the moped at a slow speed with the wind in my face. We all looked up at the trees again to see if it was just the wind. Again….trees as still as can be. The girls mentioned to me how much more calm the area felt than last night. I am a firm believer that spirits can feel the calmness of ones presence which will make a big difference. If you are ever up for an adventure….head over to the cemetery (with an open mind and open senses) in the wee hours of the night and see what you experience. If you want to enjoy it more and get a kick out of it with a good laugh…take a few female young adults. Just try to withdraw the urge of scaring them if they are ahead of you. Trust me the urge is there big time. I laugh just thinking about it.

Nothing about nothing

Well Brooke’s graduation, graduation party and 18th birthday all went well. We were able to visit with a lot of friends and family and catch up with some. The day had a little rain here and there but nothing we couldn’t handle. Which this was a good thing since our central air went out and we will be without until we are able to afford a new central air/furnace. No big deal. After all that is why there are fans right. As of this past Monday Dan is again without a job. Well he will fill in here and there like once a week. Better then nothing at all. The run he was doing was going down to New Berlin to Office Max and back (to Milwaukee I think). Well Office Max isn’t doing to god and that run was canceled. With this being a job in Wisconsin and his last one that he had back in Jan was in Michigan I am not sure how the unemployment will work out. All I know is that I need to pick up as many hours at work that I can so we don’t lose what we have. Deadlines are approaching and the stress is getting up there. Thank goodness for paxil. Hahaha
School is going good. I came home one afternoon and told Dan if he ever wanted to feel really stupid, just go to school. Besides math I am taking a accelerated English class for the summer to get through it faster. Good thing because if I had to take it on my own and at my own pace I would still be at the beginning of the book. I never cared about such things in high school and I really don’t now, but I have to to get through it all to get into the program I want. Which at this point, I am still not sure. I am hoping to decide so I can register for the fall into a program. If it funny because one of the homework assignments that we have to do weekly is a journal. For me you would think that would come easy since I have no problem ranting and raving. Well this past week I had a very hard time coming up with something. I pretty much journaled about nothing. I went on and on about “nothing”. Here it is……
“Usually sitting here at the computer or even laying in bed at night when things quiet down in the house, my mind just jumps from thought to thought. Lately my mind is not doing that. Does this mean that I am content with life and nothing is on my mind? I don’t know. I try thinking of a subject to write about for this project for school. I have even tried thinking of things to blog about but haven’t had any luck there lately either. The last blog was a pretty generic entry about Brooke graduating. I even thought the smell of the chicken baking would set off some brain things and make the mind go. As of yet, nothing creative. Husband asks me if I am doing my homework knowing that I am a procrastinator. Of course I am, I answer. “What did you decide to journal about?” My answer to him? “About not having anything to journal about”. He chuckled and went on with his relaxing. Think I will go check on that chicken. Yum, that chicken is done and just waiting for all to come home and get the potatoes ready. The one thing that I have realized with being in this class is that I am a huge procrastinator. I get sidetracked very easily and find my mind wandering often. Wonder if that is where my youngest son gets his ADD from. Nah couldn’t be, but then again I wouldn’t hold my breath. I do like writing and I would think that the journaling would be the easiest thing for me to do. I have to start writing when those inspirational things come to me and not relying on that memory to remember so when I sit down thinking those ideas will come to one, because they don’t. They are gone forever due to my mind not retaining things for very long. I sit here and then think gosh I have so much other stuff to study. I am very fearful about failing that test for this class on Wednesday. So I will bring this subject of nothing to an end and continue on working on my other homework and study and study and try grasping what verbs, nouns, adjectives and such are. I just have to pass that first test. Okay I think I will start vacuuming or something. Can’t start thinking of that test. It is to early for test anxiety. ”

I think that the teacher wondered what the heck kind of stuff goes on in my head. BTW….I got a 93% on my test J
Anyway that is it for now. Til next time……

Graduation

Three down one to go. Tonight Brooke is graduating from High School. She received the honor of graduating with honors and received a yellow tassel. The reason for this is because she maintained a grade point average of 3.0 or above from her freshman year to her senior year. Way to go Brooke! We are so proud of her just as we are of all our kids. I am so thankful for God blessing us with 4 wonderful children!

That 70’s Show

I am watching that “70s show”  and every time I watch this show it takes me back to my teen years.  You know I really did have a lot of fun.  Maybe not as adventurous as most but I still had a ton of fun.  The cruising the ave in Jenny’s thunderbird, checkin out who is downtown and who is with who, will we run into that one person we have a crush on?  How about our nights at the roller rink and when we were older getting into Foxys even though we weren’t old enough.  I will never forget the one and only night it got invaded with police while I was in the bathroom and thanks to my uncle that happen to be there saved me by dancing with me on the dance floor.  I learned then that the chances of dancing on the dance floor when it is packed meant  that the chances of the police checking people on the floor are pretty minimal.  You know back then it was pretty easy to get into a bar and actually be served.  The request for IDs were pretty minimal.  Oh the memories.  I am so glad I grew up when I did.  I wouldn’ thave traded it for anything.

23 years

Hard to believe that it has been just about a month. since the last blog. The only exciting thing that has happened in the Rawlings’ home is that Dan and I celebrated our 23rd wedding anniversary. Boy it sure doesn’t feel like it has been that long.  We didn’t really do anything except reminisce about that day and how glad we are to have found one another and how our life has turned out and if there would have been anything done differently if we could do it all over again. Our outcome of that question was there would be a few things that we would change. It falls more under the financial category but everything else we wouldn’t do anything differently. Life is indeed good.
Saturday night I went into work for a few hours and was hoping Dan would have had the kids that were home in bed by the time I got home. This was only Logan and my cousins children that were spending the night. So when I called home when I was done working to see if all were sleeping or at least in bed Dan said no. Well there went that idea of picking up a Franks Pizza on the way home and watching a movie and having pizza and wine for a little way to celebrate. Sunday we snuggled in bed and watched a movie for a bit and then decided we should actually start the day like real people do. We pretty much just vegged at home until Dan had to leave for work at 2. The rest of the day I pretty much putzed and did whatever it was that came to mind, which resulted in not much.
What an exciting life we lead huh?!?

A song that hits home….

Was on my way to work tonight and a radio station that I don’t normally listen to was on (Brooke). A song was playing and it caught my attention. All I could think of was… I gotta see those lyrics! THis sounds so much like our last 4-5 months! Well I had Brooke get Look them up for me (since she is the one that had that channel on and the only one home at the time). I just had to share them with you…

The Climb

I can almost see it
That dream I’m dreaming but
There’s a voice inside my head sayin,
You’ll never reach it,
Every step I’m taking,
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking but I
Got to keep trying
Got to keep my head held high

There’s always going to be another mountain
I’m always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I’m gonna to have to lose,
Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb

The struggles I’m facing,
The chances I’m taking
Sometimes might knock me down but
No I’m not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I’m going to remember most yeah
Just got to keep going
And I,
I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on, cause

There’s always going to be another mountain
I’m always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I’m gonna to have to lose,
Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb (yeah)

There’s always going to be another mountain
I’m always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes you going to have to lose,
Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb (yeah yeah ea ea)

Keep on moving
Keep climbing
Keep the faith baby
It’s all about
It’s all about
The climb
Keep the faith
Keep your faith

New start, Job overload, Accidental accident

It feels like it has been a very long week. That might be because I have jumped into being a full time working mom for the week to fill in for a ill co-worker. Patiently waiting for Monday night to sleep in my own warm cozy bed. Ten nights is more then enough for me. To my surprise when I came to work tonight (Saturday) I felt refreshed and positive. Usually by now I would be dragging and not full of patients and compassion. I think the mixture of watching a movie with a feel good message and a reminder of how God is so much of our daily lives and how things happen for reasons. As the it is said in Ecclesiastes 3. 1-8 “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.”   As I heard this many times before it hit me a little tonight. For what reason? I dunno. I think it is a build up of the last four months of ups and downs with the things in life we take for granted, finances, and changes in the family. God is speaking to me in as many ways as he can. Sometimes I am not the best listener.  But I am learning slowly.  Cayla was in an accident Thursday morning. She was on her way to work and was a couple blocks from home when she went to turn she hit a gal on a bike. I got a frantic call at 6:15 am from her saying “mom!!! I need you!!!” along with a lot of other things but with her bawling so badly I couldn’t understand her. After finding out where she was I went down to the location and after finding out both girls were okay I tried calming Cayla down. She was pretty much crying hysterically. It was pretty much a freak accident. Even a gentleman that saw it happen couldn’t explain what happened due to it being a big ole blur. We are grateful the girl was not badly hurt. To Cayla’s relief the officer that arrived on the scene was one that she knew for a few years from the high school. I could just hear a relief in her breathing. The freaky thing here….With Dan being off work money is tight. Sometimes  things come up and you have to chose which bill you are going to pay and which one you are not. Well we ended up having out car insurance lapse. Not that I am proud to admit this and you can bet this was a lesson that I will never forget. Wednesday evening about 4:00 I went down to our insurance to pay the premium to get it reinstated. Cayla’s accident happened Thursday morning. It was a little to spooky for me. The gals mom called Friday to have me pass a message to cayla that her daughter will be okay and that it was okay. Things could have turned out worse. The gal ended up spending the night in the hospital over night til they could find out what was wrong with her ankle or foot since she was unable to put pressure on it. It also ended up Cayla and Brooke both know her from high school. I think work also plays a part in it also and why I volunteered to pick up all the extra hours I did. The group of patients that we have this week is a good group. One of them happens to be a person I taught Sunday school with back many years ago. She is only 2 years older then I am and has a huge heart! She has been very influential in many lives along with making a difference in many young peoples lives. We have another patient that after talking with him last night he feels that since he has strayed away from Gods word and is coming back to it on a daily basis he is worried about weather or not he will be allowed into the kingdom of heaven. This gentleman has read the word of God many times over, he has ministered to the prisoners and feels that since getting ill and not reading the book daily he questions his worthiness. I think this week is a learning week for me in both my daily life and work life. I feel God is using these patients to teach me something or to tell me something or even both.   All in all that has been my week. I want to thank everyone that has kept our family in your prayers. Prays do work! There is definitely power in prayer.

Just about to the top of that mountain

It has been an interesting week here at the Rawlings home. A lot of emotions, joy, uncertainty and the feeling of new hope and survival.
The door that was slammed last week has reopened, leaving choices to be made. The faith that we have in God, we believe that everything
happens for a reason. We believe that our journey here on earth is Gods will and he will lead us on the path that is intended for us. This week Dan had some choices to make. he was offered a job and he also had a job interview set up for next week. Being on unemployment he had to take the job offer. This was the one that we thought was a definite no after the way the gentleman he was dealing with kept putting him off. To sum his experience up: interview went great, pre employment went great but during one a gal that was fairly new in her own job did not follow through with the test the way she should have because she didn’t know. This was the down fall for Dan. But after the other two candidates: one failed a pre trip expection and the second did not pass his drug test. The end result the job offer was
given to Dan if he still wanted it. Dan’s thinking is that this was meant to be. He felt that God knew what he was going through and helped
provide this opening for this job for Dan to accept so he can support his family. Okay so I agree. The job interview Dan was to have next week
he canceled. To much of my trying to convince him to keep it to see what they have to offer he decided to cancel it. I disagreed with this but
I felt I need to support him with whatever he decides. He was unsure if he would be able to make the two schedules work in harmony if you
would. He is also thinking about family time in there also. Which I can’t blame him since he has lost out on so much the last 15 years working
for the last company. That is one thing that is so important to him is family. What I have learned in the years that we have been married is that,
that is one thing he will not budge on anymore. I have been very fortunate to have him as the provider for our family. He puts us all first and
is a very unselfish man. I know I would not be able to be like that. He has given me the gift of a lifetime and that is being able to be home for
my children from birth to adulthood. He didn’t mind that I was a stay at home mom, when I battled that “should I go to work or should I stay
home” subject in my mind he always was supportive no matter what I choose. This also allowed me to feel free with volunteering in the many
things that I chose. So now that he choose to accept the job that he will have weekends off for the first time in 15 years and have somewhat normal hours, how can I not stand by his side. It just means budgeting better, okay actually getting on one and staying on it, being more disciplined with what
we have and know the difference between what we want and what we need. Sure we won’t have a big bank account but we are and will be happy
and enjoy the life God blesses us with. I live in a house I absolutely love and am content with and my children are happy. What more could I want.
So starting Monday evening Dan will be back earning his paycheck and his self esteem will be boosted back to where it was if not even more so.
We have grown a lot in many ways in the last four months. We have both grown closer to God, we have learned to trust in him and that he will provide (even though I still struggle with this one). I have learned that when (and I hope that I will) I experience being in a position to help someone out that is in need I have learned to just do something for them to whatever it is within my abilities. I will not ask them. It is very hard for people to be humble and drop their pride and say “yes I need help” and actually say out loud what is needed. I know…been there done that and can’t do that.
We surely do appreciate all the prayers. We thank God for all of our family and friends and even people that we don’t know well that have kept us in their prayers til Dan found a job. It is amazing the power of prayer.